Collins Ferner Wedding 08

Holy crap, I'm a married man! There are a lot of single ladies out there weeping tonight. Or so I like to tell myself.

In about 13 hours I will be boarding a plane for a week in Curacao (its next to Aruba) where I will enjoy a week of 90 degree weather and come back probably as red as a lobster.

But before that, just wanted to post some thoughts on the weekend, especially for those of you that couldn't make it out here.

The theme for the weekend was cold. All week we were watching the forecats and from about Saturday to Wednesday it all said the same thing: partly cloudy and in the mid-60s on Friday and Saturday. Great! we thought. But by Friday it was clear it was going to be overcast with frequnet showers and temps in the mid-50s. And as it turned out, the church picked the wrong week to rip out its heating system.

So it was pretty frigid in the church for the rehersal dinner. And it remained pretyt chilly the next night for the wedding, although I didn't notice since I was wearing a nice warm tux.

I played golf in the morning with my two brothers-in-law, soon-to-be cousin in law, father-in law, dad and uncle. It was cold and damp and i may have torn a pectoral muscle trying to muscle a 5-iron out of the long grass, but it was a good time had by all.

We showed up at the church sober and looking sharp. My worst fear leading up to the wedding wasn't actually getting hitched itself, but that my notoriously nervous bladder would act up in the middle of the ceremony. Sure enough, even though I had just visited the boys room, as soon as the processional music kicked in I had to go. My bloodpressure also dropped in half prompting me to think I was about to hit the deck. Thakfully, as I started to watch all the beautiful bridesmaids make their way down, and then as I watched my glowing, gorgeous bride walk down the aisle, all was good.

The service was amazing. I don't think it's a threat to me manhood to say it was basically what I hoped for. I think my parish looks beautiful in the evening light and I really enjoyed the service our minister put together. Nothing fancy; it was very traditional. Rachel did jump the gun during the vows, answering "I will" before the priest had even finished asking her the question. I thanked her for her enthusiasm. I also made sure to stare down Genova so she wouldn't object.

We spent about 45 minutes in the church reenacting parts of the ceremony that our photographer just couldn't get during the service, then we did the standard pictures with the families and bridal party. I had on my "fake smile" as everyone put it.

It had started to rain again, so we couldn't stand up through the sunroof on the way to the reception. We did chug a half bottle of champagne straight from the bottle and chuck the cork into a car full of our friends while stopped at a red light.

The reception was a blast. I scarfed down about 3 pounds of meatballs and bacon-wrapped scallops prior to being introduced. We made it through our first dance without embarrassing ourselves, and partied well into the evening.

I highly reccommend the suites at the Quincy Marriott. They are freakin' ginormous. When we got back to the hotel, I changed into a simple 3-piece flannel suit and bowtie, while Rachel donned a housecoat. I smoked a pipe while reading about the day's stock trades as Rachel served some tea and worked on her cross-stitching. As far as you know.

We ended up hosting an afterparty until about 3 am. Zaremba was afraid of lugging a cooler up, so he stuffed all the beer bottles into the foot of my tuxedo bag. I had the smarts to demand Chinese food and we chowed down on a late night snack of pork fried rice, beef on a stick and general gau's chicken.

The worst part of the weekedn was the cookout on Saturday. He had set up a tent in my dad's yard in case it rained, which it did. But it was also cold and windy -- a terrible trifecta. I would have been OK, if it was cold and windy, but the sun was out, or if it was rainy, but warm -- people still could have sat outside a bit. But cold, windy and raint meant everyone was crammed isnide, except for those hearty few -- like me -- who just crowded around the grill outside instead.

We had a great family dinner Saturday night and then played host to the famous Cindy Gierhart and Friends until Rachel and I passed out from exhaustion around 11:30. God, we're so old already.

So now its Sunday afternoon and we're leaving for the airport hotel soon. I attached a few of the pictures we've received already, and I'll be sure to post some more when we get back!

Thanks to everyone who came -- it was a great time! Let's do it again next year!

(Just kidding Rachel -- please don't hit me)